Captain Bonehead



Captain Jack D. Smasho



Born in:

Ravens Cove


Foulberto Smasho




Roger Swordmenace


'Captain Bonehead'. A name humorous, but feared. Pirates are usally never afraid, but they would have felt it atleast once if they've ever met Captain Bonehead. The story of Captain Jack Bonehead is a long one, but it will fill you with excitment, suspense, and the feeling of bravery. You will read his birth, his cursed childhood, his time as a pirate, and even when he was a member of the EITC.


Captain Bonehead was born to the name of Jack Smasho. He was born on Ravens Cove, to Foulberto Smasho. Jack to this day still does not know who his mother, but he knows that she had left Ravens Cove. Foulberto wasnt a ghost when he raised Jack, he was actually a young strong man. Jack never knew that Foulberto was a pirate, until Jack saw Foulberto raid Port Royal. Jack asked his father to teach him everything he knew, and his father did. For years, Jack trained, day and night. And after 5 years of non-stop cutlass, pistol, and voodoo, everything changed. Late one night, Jack awaoke to a loud sound. The sound of a ship. He heard the dinghy's splash into the water, followed by a loud cackle. Jack folowed behind his father, and watched him while hiding on the other side of a barrel. Jack witnessed Foulberto discussing with El Patron to join his crew, and he immediatly joined. His heart broke while he heard his father say "Forget my son. Let him rot". Tears ran down Jacks face, and he knew from that time on he would show his father. As Foulberto left on the ship, El Patron stared at Jack and said:

"I win, Bonehead"

A New Beginning

Jack was at young age, but had the talent of an entire crew. He was powered by the wanting to destroy El Patron, and all undead beings. But he didn't know survival well. The island was dead, and their wasnt another person in sight. That was until in just a month of starvation, Jack spotted the pirate sail. It triggered his memory to seeing El Patron's pirate sail, with his father taking off. And El Patron's cursed voice, saying "I win, Bonehead". Bonehead! If he says I'm Bonehead then I guess I shall be. But I will make that name full of respect. Jack was first met by Jack Sparrow, who did nothing but a wink, and handed Jack a whole bottle of rum. Followed by him was Tia Dalma. Tia looked at Jack and said. "Come with me, Bonehead".

"How do you know my name?" Jack thought.

He ran Tia, who, even though was a gypsy, walked really fast. Maybe I should put levetated fast. She took Jack into an empty cave (That would later be known as the Cave of Lost Souls), and said:

"Your father soon will be cursed here forever. When he does, you must stop him, and all ghosts of the undead. You are the chosen one. I would know".

"Did she just smile? No, I've heard of her, shes a very serious legendary women". Jack thought.

"You will need this". She tossed Bonehead a bottle with a gigantic ship in it, and a voodoo doll.

"You shall now be known as Captain Jack Bonehead, lord of bravery."

And with that, she dissapeared. Jack felt the feeling of self confidence, and a huge warmth of bravery and proudness. But that a was gone when he heard a loud boom, that made the whole cave shake.

First Battle

Captain Bonehead raced out, trying to excape the upcoming flooding of the cave, that was just inches away from rupturing. He jumped out at the last second, with the whole cave sink into the ground. He was met with fire, all around. But that wasnt the worst part. There were undead skeletons everywhere! He grabbed for hjis pistol, but it was knocked out of his hand by an Undead Captain. He swung out his sword, and flipped in the air, over the skeletons head, and stabbed it in the back. He then then through his sword like a boomarang, and it cut through ten of the undead. He then jumped in the air, this time, jumping ontop of a huge group of skeletons. Suicide, pirates my say. But not for Bonehead. While falling to the ground, he was twirling in the air, sticking his knife out. It cut through them all, and they fell to the ground.

All of the undead retreated, and Captain Bonehead was met with faces of shock.

"What?" he said unknowningly.

"What is right, mate, what did you just do?" Jack Sparrow walked to Captain Bonehead.

"And why are you using a crude cutlass like that, you should be using our finest weaponary!" Will Turner exclaimed.

"Escpecially with extrodainary skills like that!"

"I told you he was the choosen one!" Tia Dalma whispered to Jack Sparrow.

And all Jack Sparrow said was:

"I think he needs a beard"

Pirate Life

"A pirate life is what I want, not a beard". Bonehead said. (He will get a beard later on though.)

"Then you must start your journey now". Tia Dalma explained.

"Drop your boat into the water. As soon as you drop it in, it shall transform into a gigantic ship."

Captain Bonehead just stared at her. Thats crazy! What does she think I am, stupid?

"Quickly! There isn't much time! I sense a darkness and a change for piracy".

Bonehead reluctlantly dropped the boat into the water, and met to his unbelieving eyes was a huge war galleon! That is not possible!

"Stop gaping at the ship, and get in it!"

So Captain Bonehead walked into the ship mesmerized of its beuty and great craftsmen ship and size! He ran up the stairs to the steering wheel, and grasped it tightly. The energy, excitment, everything was too much! And that is when he fully decided he wanted his entire life dedicated towards piracy. The ship took off and Captain Bonehead waved towards Will Turner, Tia Dalma, and Jack Sparrow. It would be a while until he saw them again.

Bonehead sailed the entire day, whichto his dissapointment soon became quite boring. He couldnt see anything, because the fog was covering everything. Finally, he saw something in the distance. What is that weird ship coverered in red? Suddenly, the ship fired at him. A cannonball zoomed right past Jack's head. His new ship soon caught on fire, and Jack new nothing of sailing. But he did know how to fight fight. Right when the Royal Navy ship rammed into the Yellow King, Captain Bonehead swooped onto their ship, almost missing. Now dangling over the railing, he pulled himself up just when a navy officer was just about to cut his fingers off.

Bonehead went up behind the officer, and shoved him off the ship. Taking out his sword he swung it cutting a Veterans arm off. Captain Bonehead then jumped off the stairs and stabbed the ast officer right through the stomach. He jumped off the railing, got back on his ship, and fired the cannons. The Royal Navy ship sank, and he had just sank his first ship. As he countinued to sail, Jack hit land, and ported. When he entered the island, there was not an enemy in sight! It was like the capital of piracy! He was at home.

Sadly, Bonehead did not understand piracy completely. He knew of the Royal Navy, the Undead, and ghosts. But he didnt know of the EITC. And that would become a huge mistake. But he did learn the way of the weapons. He learned how to use a dagger, and how to throw a grenade, and even how to conduct the power of a staff. He became notorious, killing the undead, and stealing the show in the invasions. He grew very popular, and decided he wanted to explore the Caribbean, and go to other islands. Whats the point of being a pirate if you only stay in one place? And so he took off to this island he'd heard of called Port Royal.

It was an easy ride there. When he ported, he was astonished to see a huge fort standing right there as he got to shore. He entered in curiosity, and traveled all the way to the top, walking up the mountain of stairs. As he got to the top of Fort Charles, he was told it was called, he saw a person dressed all in black. He had never seen a person like that before! He asked who he was, but the conversation wasnt what he expected. The EITC officer took his sword out, and ran it through Captain Bonehead's chest. Feeling the most pain in his life, he fell to the ground in shock and knocked out from the blood loss.


Captain Bonehead woke up, startled by the sudden piercing pain in his chest. Looking at the blood still running from his wound, he slammed his fist into the wall. They didnt even have the heart to put a bandage on! Looking around, Bonehead saw all of the cells, crowded with pirates, barely and space for each of them. No pirates

could escape! The whole pirate population will be demolished if somebody doesnt do something about it! Then the Captains eyes hit the sleeping guard. Good. Now how do we get out? He kicked the door in anger. It made a loud sound, like the door was breaking. He kicked again, this time the door even more weak. And after the final kick, the door opened. Thus was created the jailbreak, that pirates now all use to excape from prison. Cheers were made and soon everybody was free.

Captain Bonehead became one of the most well liked men in the Caribbean, and was greatly appreciated for freeing piracy from the EITC's clutches.

EITC vengeance

The EITC were mad about what Bonehead had done. Infuriated, to the point that Beckett hanged all of the guards who were supposed to be guarding. Beckett wasnt just mad about the escaping from jail, but the other chaos the "evil" Captain had caused. Defeating some of his best men, raiding their forts, and sinking so many of their ships that they werent able to even set sail once and not be attacked immediatly. Beckett held a meeting about the piracy break out, and when the meeting was over a group that would change the caribbean forever was created... the Black Guard.

War begins

Pirates werent having the best days of their lives persay. So many enemies- EITC, the Undead, the Royal Navy. They could only put up with so much. And now a new group comes along- the Black Guard, an elite clan of EITC officers. So they had to start picking roles. Pirate lords, kings, leaders. Many selected Jack Sparrow as the leader- a great courages father of piracy, some Jack Swordmenace as pirate lord- an adventurerous defender, and some John Breasly, strict but wise, as king. And as for Captain Bonehead? He denied to be put up to a rank. He wanted to just be a mere defender. But in the war, he was more then that. He was the fearless, brave captain and leader of many of the most famous battles.

The war started in 1740. It came out slow, but grossed into a never-ending, day and night nonstop battles. Each side created their bases, the pirates with Tortuga, and the EITC and Royal Navy with Fort Dundee, Fort Charles, and Kingshead. Each side was unaware of the others exact determination. And now the longest, most blood spilling, and cruelist war in the Caribbean had started, and there was nothing nobody could do about it.

Captain Bonehead's Battles

During the time of the war, Captain Bonehead was in a total of 8 huge battles battles. But only onewould be the most important. The first. It would start something, but at the same time be ending it. The first battle was very fierce, each army charging at each other. This battle was mostly at sea.

First Battle

Captain Bonehead smelled the salty sea, and could hear the loud thunder of shouts and orders between captains and their shipmates. Bonehead had only 8 people on his War Galleon, while most others had at the least 12! What Bonehead couldnt see was the EITC and Royal Navy ships. All of this fog was covering everything in the distance! Then, looking out from his telescope, he spotted ships coming. Hundreads of War Galleons! Stunned, he shouted to one of his men to hoist the sails. But the Captain didnt get to the wheel. For one of the only times in his life, he felt fear. "Captain?" the mate said. Without any answer, Bonehead rushed to the wheel, knowing he had to fight his fear. The pirates set sail, on full speed to attack. Each side charging at the other.

As Bonehead started to sail to the ships, he noticed that there werent just 100 ships, there was more behind the first 100! There would be no way to win this! "If our ships start getting any closer, there would soon be no time untill all of us will be destroyed", Captain Bonehead thought. "Unless..."

" Take the wheel and get closer to the biggest ship possible!" Captain Bonehead ordered. "But sir!", his first mate said. But like before without any answer, Bonehead jumped down the stairs to the cannon, and took a long piece of grapple. Just at the right second when the biggest ship there broadsided Bonehead's ship, he hooked the rope onto the ship and jumped on.

He quickly went to the bottom of the ship where all the gun powder was stored. Just before the Navy could catch him, he chucked all of his daggers at each one of the soilders. Bonehead took his grenade and threw it near the tons of barrels of gunpowder. All of them caught on fire, and would blow up in seconds. He raced up to the deck and jumped back onto his ship, just at the last second with the explosion behind him. The EITC ship exploded, and tipped over onto the EITC ship right next to it and sank two in one. One huge combined explosion then took place, damaging and destroying all neighboring boats. Just as luck would have it, it sent Bonehead's boat tipping over and sinking into the ocean.

Days later, the now captainless Bonehead woke up in Dr. Grog's room in Tortuga. "You were very lucky to have survived that, your boat and crew didnt. We found you on a wooden plank, far off in the ocean. You have suffered many injuries, and have broken both arms and legs", The doctor explained. Then, Dr. Grog saw the only thing that hes never been able to understand. Captain Bonehead chuckled, stood up, and walked out the door, on his mission to drink as much rum as his stomach could hold.

War Ends

The war finally ended 1710. The war ended, but the many attacks each side would do to each other throughout the years would start again. Pirates all around relaxed and settled down for awhile. There was very little criminal activity that year. Captain Bonehead decided he himself for once would relax and try to enjoy the parts of his life besides piracy.

Kelly Sharkskull

For a total of 7 years, Captain Jack Smasho (Captain Bonehead), lived in Tortuga. When li

Kelly sharkskull.jpg
ving there, he met the girl of his dreams. A fine women named Kelly Sharkskull. It was a fine day, and out of no where he saw this gorgeous women. He quickly went up to her and made a conversation. She soon began to like him. After months, he was about to ask her to be his girlfriend when another friend of hers did too named Tobias, a round-bellied pirate. Tobias and Bonehead battled with swords for the girl at the top of Fort Charles. Bonehead took a horrific swing and knocked Tobias off Fort Charles into the sea.

For a total of two years they dated. And finally at the bridge of Ile D'Etable De Porc, he proposed to her and she said yes. For a total of five years they were happily married. Sadly and suddenly, she left the Caribbean and never returned, breaking Boneheads heart. When doing this, it made the Captain full of anger which actually helped him in fighting to be more aggresive. He will always remember Kelly Sharkskull.


Captain Bonehead was now done with relaxing. He was craving for adventures. Sure it was nice going to the tavern everyday and taking it easy and having a couple rums. But now he had sarted loosing muscle and was out of EITC and Royal Navy records! And so, Captain Bonehead decided regain his name and once again get back at having some adventures.


It seemed adventure was seeking him for a long time. But Captain Bonehead would ignore it and fight it. But this time, he will let it find him. And so begins one of our first stories of the Infamous Captain Bonehead.

The Curse of the Thai Monkey Tattoo

It was pitch black outside, and a bit cold since the season was nearing winter. Almost the whole town of Padres del Fuego was asleep, except Jack Smasho, (Captain Bonehead). Jack, was very tired. His day had begun with knocking out a navy officer, and taking his cloths. Disguised as the officer, he calmly went to the Fort Charles office and took out a large amount of money from the desks. He quietly walked out with handfulls of money pouches. But Jack stil walked out without a bruise, only curious looks from the fellow dumb soilders. Only then when Bonehead was on his stolen dinghy, and already halfway to Padres Del Fuego he could see through his telescope the Navy and EITC people scurrying around to get to their boats. Sadly, they had noticed the missing money too late.

For the rest of the day, the Captain put his gold in his hidden place on the island, and sat around Padres Del Fuego looking for something to do. Now night had fallen, and he still was bored out of his bone-head. He decided to take a stroll around the island. Maybe there were new items or something? While walking threw the island, a mysterious women, who appeared to be a gypsy, dressed in weird necklasses, and a robe of some sort, popped out of the shadows.

"Lost?" she said.

"Kind of...." Jack responded unsurely.

"May I interest you in some voodoo tattoos?"

"Voodoo Tattos?" Jack asked

"Ive never heard of them".

"They each give you a unique voodoo power."

Captain Bonehead follows her to her building, and then asks her what her most powerful tattoo is, and she gives a mischevious smile. The Thai Monkey Tattoo. "Whats it made of?" he asks. She answers. "Monkey Blood, Fly Trap Venom, Grounded up Undead Captain bones, Octopus skin, Shark eyeballs, Essence of a ghost, Scorpion ink, Terror Wasp intestines, Salt Water, and 3 Alligator Soul potions."

Jack stares at her in awe. "Thats a lot of things...."

She starts immediatly working on the chest tattoo. Sadly, the tattoo puts Jack to agony for 2 hours until his chest goes numb. Finally after 4 hours, the tattoo is done. Jack wakes up in the gypsy's house. "I must have fell asleep". he says.

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