Since New Years resolutions are for noobs (no offense), I figured... why not do something a little less run-of-the-mill and a little more fun/creative? New Years superlatives!

Here's how it works: basically, consider anyone you know, and think of what they are (human, duh). The only beginnings I've heard of are "most..." and "most likely to...", but I'm sure we can come up with more creative stuff than that. Just add your name and your list of superlatives, and we can all get a good laugh (and perhaps, for the people who they're aimed at, a good cry). Happy New Year, and enjoy!

<insert name here>


Most likely to build a death ray and kill all of us: Hermit/Parax

Sexiest/most perverted admin: Jack Pistol

Hairiest ass: Richard Goldvane

Person who changed the most (not in a bad way) in 2012: John Breasly

Most unlikely friend: Blake Stewart

Sorest loser (love you :P) : Bill Plunderbones

Greatest listener: Kate (imy D: )

Person who I wanted to kill the most but who later proved a great friend: Albert Spark

Most epically hilarious to watch: Captain Leon

Hardest pokemon to catch: Lawrence Daggerpaine

Most kick-ass blonde with a dude's name: Bobby Moon xD

Craziest S.O.B.: All of the above :P

Johnathan Warsmythe

Guy everyone hates: Me

Ladies man: Old Man

Disliked person: G-Man

Oblivious person: Venables (is that how you spell it?) 

Forgotten person: Keira

Keira's lovers: Parax, Venables

Best Admin: Stpehen

maybe I will think over more....... 

Blake Stewart

Biggest badass: Sven Daggersteel

Biggest : Squidly Diddly.

Biggest gamer: Jack Pistol/John Breasly

Biggest Rager: William Brawlmartin

Biggest private parts: User: Blake Stewart's small (Yes. He came into chat -_-)

Best friend: Gibbsgirl11

Person who should be an admin: John Breasly (lolyep)

Worst admin(s): Katbluedog (Image hater) Stephan (Biggest fun cop)

Best friends: Mallace and Garland (If they're not married)

Biggest Cheater/Modder: G-man

Biggest Ass: (If not me) Albert Spark (Jk)

The guy everyone wants banned: "Le Le"

Biggest British man: Joooooooohnny Goldtimbers.

Jack Pistol

  • Dirtiest mind: Hooky
  • Biggest gossip: Jim Logan/Nults McKagan
  • Most obnoxious: Svenny D/Parax
  • Clown: G-man.
  • Most rockin' bod (Male): Sven (Sorry, Brawlmartin, you were my next choice =o)
  • Most rockin' bod (Female): KittyNomsYou & Bobby Moon (O'Malley knows the truth!)
  • Most unlikely couple: Mallace and a female
  • Most sensitive: Sensitive D (Svenny)
  • Luckiest: Bill2222
  • Ultimate hipsta: Jeremiah "Guv" Garland #wasahipstabeforeitwascool-hipsta!#
  • Ultimate bro: David Dooda (the other name is too long, bro)
  • Ultimate player: Johnny Goldtimbers (he's still got it)
  • Ultimate stalker: Blake Stewart
  • Coolest username: Anything with lots of X's, random upper and lower-case letters and the words "Ultimate" or "Jumper".
  • Most modest: Jack Pistol
  • Best athlete: lolnope
  • Most paranoid: Captain Leon's ego
  • Most gullible: Marc Cannonshot
  • Admin's pet: Pencil, Nults, Keira Nobody
  • Best lie: "I killed a bear with a ballistic knife" ~ Jarod/"I am leaving the wiki and I do not care about it at all" ~ Pearson
  • Most likely to be in the closet: Matthew Blastshot
  • Most likely to become a nudist: Keira and Jim Logan (or a WWE wrestler, they are basically nude anyway)
  • Best gamer: John Breasly
  • Most likely to still be here in their 40s: Captaingoldvane2 (He will still be writing stories)
  • Most likely to have many children: Keira Kinover-Mar (Who's yo daddy?)
  • Person whose username is most likely their real name: Captaingoldvane2 and Stpehen (please pronounce the "stp")
  • Kitty most likely to nom you: KittyNomsYou 
  • Most likely to be nommed by a kitty: Jeremiah Garland (awwww yeaaaaaaah!)
  • Brothority on everythinga gaming: Jim Brogan
  • Best links: Parax
  • Best at coloring in the lines: John Breasly
  • Best fashionista: Jarod
  • Best handwriting: <insert name here>
  • Celebrity look-alikes: Parax (Denzel Washington), John Breasly (Steve Buscemi), Albert Spark (Ed from Ed, Edd n Eddy), Gibbsgirl (Joshamee Gibbs), Captaingoldvane2 (Jarod Fogle before), Nults McKagan (Deadmau5), Jim Logan (Jim Logan), Jeremiah Garland (Weird Al Yankovic) and Andrew Mallace (the plague).
  • Most likely to get caught by their mom: Jim Logan (ON THE PS3 ROFLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!)
  • Most likely to think they are special because of username template: <insert name here> and Jeremiah Garland

Marc Cannonshot

  • Future Antichrist - Jack Goldwrecker.
  • The person who will destroy the European Union - <insert name here>.
  • Most anime lover in the entire wiki - Bill Plunderbones.
  • Hottest Swedish monarch - Gibbsgirl.
  • Number one person to win in a debate - Jeremiah Garland.
  • Future Prime Minister of Britain - Johnny Goldtimbers.
  • The Ash Ketchem of the wiki - Bill Plunderbones.
  • Future Chancellor of Germany - Blastshot.
  • Future person to get a restraining order from their ex - Hooky :/
  • The person who does not have a life and is going to be alone forever - <insert name here>
  • The person who told me that diet soda helped wash away blood stains - Billy Plunderbones.
  • The dictator of the wiki - Marc Cannonshot (Maybe...).
  • Nerd of 2012 - How the heck should I know? I am surrounded by nerds... and the most annoying ones as well.... (Jk).
  • King of the world - John Breasly.
  • Funniest person I know - Svenny D.
  • Friendliest person - Jason EITC.
  • Total war generals - Jarod and Marc.
  • Ugliest person I know - <insert name here>.
  • The dude with the sunglasses - Albert Spark.
  • Future Pixar employee - Lawrence Daggerpaine.
  • The man who will restore the British Empire in 2013 - Johnny Goldtimbers.
  • Top British Generals - Sven, Richard Venables, Jason Blademorgan, and Ishamel.
  • Mr. Victorian - Marc Cannonshot.


  • Gayest - Matthew Blastshot
  • Other type of gayest ( You'll NEVER KNOW! XD ) - G-man ( WHO IS GAYER!? The world may never know )
  • Needs to play Pirates Online  MORE - Bill Plunderbones ( He's NEVER on! )
  • Needs to play Pirates Online LESS - Lawrence Daggerpaine ( He's ALWAYS on! )
  • Best at Crafting Mines - Lawrence Daggerpaine
  • Most likely to look exactly like their POTCO pirate -  Chris Swordbones 
  • Most like Ron Weasely - John Breasly ( Character and appearance of course, not the name! )
  • Best user to go with bread - Jeremiah Garland ( Garlic )
  • Best user to eat on top of a dessert - KittyNomsYou ( Cherie )
  • Most Mainly Chest Hairs - Jack Pistol
  • Least Manly Chest Hairs - Blake Stewart
  • Youngest user alive - Johnny Goldtimbers
  • Most respectable user ever. Never talks about Blake Stewart and is always CALM in pvp. -Bill2222
  • User I'm most likely to murder - Jim Logan
  • User I'm most likely to date - Captaingoldvane2
  • User most likely to die in 2013 - <insert name here>
  • Most fun to fart on - KittyNomsYou/John Breasly
  • Least wealthy, most poor, obviously homeless user - Captain Leon
  • Most Wealthy User - Captaingoldvane2
  • Most Sexiest ( And he knows it ) Captaingoldvane2
  • Most fun to "BOOGIE ON" with ( While eating mangos ) - Keira Kinover-Mar
  • Writes gay stories - BoogieMango
  • Admin with the biggest Pistol  - Jack Pistol
  • Calmest Admin of 2012  - KatBlueDog ( Exception: "I HATE PVP!" )
  • Most fuzzy Admin of 2012 - Stpehen
  • The one user who has buttloads of information stored on a single clipboard - Lawrence Daggerpaine
  • Female users fantasize about him - Parax
  • Midget who pretends to kill bears - Jarod Pillagebane
  • Biggest Admin Dictator who will takeover the Wiki in 2013 and become high-ruler of the Universe  Best Admin ever, would never betray the Wiki or do anything abusive - Captaingoldvane2
  • Is a Lizard and is attracted to Alligators - Gibbsgirl
  • Is an alligator and is attracted to Lizards - Albert Spark
  • '"-Stands Tall and Erect-'" ( QUOTE ) - Mallace
  • Least perverted - Hookwrecker
  • Most perverted - Bill2222

Jeremiah Garland

  • Most likely to be arrested - Jim Logan (for loitering)
  • Most likely to take over the free world - John Breasly
  • Creates the most stories that I NEVER read - Captaingoldvane2
  • User I'd most likely kiss given the chance - Mallace a girl
  • userr wit teh bes gramer n stuf - greasy
  • Most oBNOxious - Hooky
  • Best story writer - Keira Kinover-Mar (you know which stories I'm talking about ;) )
  • Most likely to dream about French girls - Marc Cannonshot (Hooky dreams about them all ;) )
  • Most likely person to engage in an intellectual PM with - Jack Goldwrecker
  • Best looking - Jack Pistol
  • Worst looking - Jack Pistol (IT'S A PARADOX :O )
  • Most likely person I'd scam in Minecraft - Parax.
  • Most likely person whose name I would make fun of - Nults McKagan
  • Best bromance of all time - Mallace <3
  • Greatest admin, even if he's Indonesian and corrupt - Jack Pistol
  • Admin who reminds me oddly of my uncle - Stpehen
  • Admin who I never talk to - GenLawrence
  • Admin who needs to grow up - Jarod Pillagebane (he's only like 3 feet tall)
  • User who needs to have a pinky problem checked out - Sven Daggersteel
  • Guy who is fun to talk to - Blake Stewart
  • Most likely person I'd PM seeking advice - Gibbsgirl/John Breasly
  • Biggest pervert - It's a tie. Everybody formerly in the BNO
  • User most likely to appear and disappear from the wiki at random times - Voxelplox
  • User I'd want to meet in real life - The Bro Gang. (Breasly, Pistol, Mallace)
  • User most likely to get in a sing-along with - Bobby Moon
  • Biggest cry baby - Tama63 (lolz)
  • Biggest grammar Nazi - Matthew Blastshot
  • Person I'd want to be stranded on an island with - Jarod (his knife and arrow skills could come in handy)
  • Biggest G-Man - G-Man
  • Most Hispanic - Reyez de Luzez whatever
  • Cutest couples - Al Spark and Gibbsgirl; Bobby Moon and N.R. (lol); Jeremiah Garland and Mallace; Jim Logan and Katbluedog

Jack Goldwrecker

  • Biggest pervert - Hooky
  • Biggest jackass - John Breasly (xD)
  • Most likely person I would question the sexuality of - Nults McKagan
  • Person I would most likely stalk, kill, and eat - Albert Spark 
  • Most cultural person - Jeremiah Garland
  • The person I would like to take into a room with no windows and attack - Leon
  • Person I would preach to in order to annoy - Jim Logan
  • Biggest cry baby - Jim Logan
  • Person most likely to respond butthurtly to the last two suprlatives - Jim Logan 

Bob Moon

  • Biggest idiot on the wiki: <insert name here> <3
  • Whitest Hispanic rapper: Reyes De Luz (Albert Spark)
  • Most likely to scream randomness in an Indian accent: Basil Brawlmonk (GO ISHAMEL)
  • Biggest 18th century playa: Johnny Goldtimbers
  • Best accent: Jackie Pistola
  • Most likely to scream random crap in chat: Gibbsgirl11 (CLEARRRR BEBEHSSS)
  • Most likely to lose in a white rap battle to bob: Jeremiah "Vampire Repellent" Garland
  • Most likely to have a 3-hour Skype conversation with bob (while she's eating food the majority of the time xD): Reyes De Luz (Albert Spark)
  • Most likely to be my arch-nemesis: Bill2222222222
  • Most likely to be cursed at by bob: My freaking touchscreen!!!!
  • Best hair: Oldtimbers (wig ftw)
  • Daily Wiki Comedian: Parax
  • Most likely to be pinged: Keira Kinover-Mar :)
  • Most likely to have their name turned into a chant: GO ISHAMEL GO ISHAMEL GO ISHAMEL
  • Most likely to give a soap-box speech: Keira Kinover-Mar
  • Most disturbed: Hooky
  • Least disturbed: None of us xD
  • Most likely to secretly be a woman: G-Man :D
  • Biggest Nerd: Jim Logan


  • This person doesn't remember me: <insert name here>
  • Most related to me: Joseph Coalsmythe
  • Person I don't know, but from what I have been told wouldn't like: The Reyes guy
  • Person I hope dies horribly: Captain Leon (Seriouly? Screw you die in a pit.)
  • I will add more later, I need to do something that is actually important.

Black Angel BR

  • Person most likely to destroy us all then laugh eviliy: Parax
  • Person most likely to be my test dummy for upper-cutting: Prince Leon of England
  • Most Disturbed: Jack Pistol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Most likely to spam to get ppl to talk: Guilty is charged
  • Person to most likely kill a pony: Reyes de Luz (Albert Spark)
  • Most famous admin: GenLawrence
  • Most Gullible: Bill2222
  • Weirdest username: KittyNomsYou, Pencil-
  • Weirdest Profile Pic: Pencil-
  • Biggest Gamer: Jim Logan
  • person whos going to be interogated til the end of time til they tell me who they are: Grunt
  • OBsessed with anime: Keira Kinover-Mar
  • Person who I will nevr bow down to: Lord Marrace
  • Last to die in zombie apocalypse, (besides me of course) Dentface
  • Best User Ever!: <insert name here>
  • Best Buddy,: Albert Spark
  • Most annoying: a tie between this guy, and that guy, oh and that chick, blah blah blah blah lol
  • Most Dramatic: Jonathan Warsmythe
  • Most likely to impersonate Jolly Roger and take the undead army for himself: Parax
  • Most Likely to yell at me for the awards i've given them: <insert name here>


  • Most likely to take over the world with an army of cats and ameteur wiki users - Keira
  • Most likely to rant about Clone Wars - Jim
  • Most likely to talk about Star Wars with me - Bill
  • Most likely to solve the world's problems - Jack Pistol
  • Most likely to eat all of the chips - Nults
  • Most likely to die in the next 666 minutes - <insert name here>
  • Most likely to watch The Hobbit 27 times - Goldy
  • Most likely to read all of this - <insert name here>
  • Most likely to succeed - Jack Pistol
  • Most likely to eat all of the humans after Keira takes over the world - Parax
  • Most likely to forget my name - Jason Yelloweagle
  • Most likely to destroy the galaxy -  Parax
  • Most likely to hate me after this - <insert name here>
  • Most likely to rob a bank - G-man
  • Most likely to stop him - Tama63
  • Most likely to ignore me - Everyone
  • Most likely to survive the zombie apocalypse - Jim Logan
  • Most likely to NOT survive the zombie apocalypse - Parax (he would join them)
  • Most likely to become the president - all of the admins combining into a superhuman
  • Most likely to write a book - Keira
  • Most likely to become an actor in an upcoming Star Wars movie - Jim Logan
  • Most likely to ban everybody in the wiki-world - Pears
  • Most likely to be surprised that you read all of these Most likely tos - Me


Everybody: ​​​​​​​

Corporate Espionage!



  • Most likely to succeed - Me
  • Most likely to write a book about their success - Me
  • Most likely to be awesome - Me
  • Most likely to stop reading cause they think this is a joke - <insert name here>
  • Most likely to be beaten by me - Albert
  • Most likely to say he could have beaten me - Albert
  • Most likely to die while reading this - Reyes De Luz (Albert Spark)
  • Most likely to scream thinking they're dying while reading this - John Breasly
  • Most likely to get tired of me saying most likely - Everyone
  • Most likely to die in the past - Jim Logan
  • Most likely to say most likely the most while most likely keeping it cool while in one sentence - Me
  • Most likely to be a troll - FailPawnz

Reyes De Luz (Albert Spark)

Wikia & POTCO

  • User of the Year: <insert name here>
  • Person who has most helped me this year: KittyNomsYou (aka Cherie)
  • Person I wanted to kill at first but then found to be an awesokme guy: John Breasly
  • most sexeh bno dud: malice
  • must curupt admin: jick pisstul
  • Most Beautiful Queen: Gibbsgirl11 (aka Queen Elizabeth I of Sweden <3)
  • The Best God-like being: Parax. (Respect Parax, or be sacrificed!) 
  • Most Intimidating King ( in a good way): King Davy Gunfish of Poland-Lithuania (You're still Gunfish for me :P)
  • Person most likely to be lying that they're British and really Russian: Garlick (aka Christmas Decor)
  • Cutest Couples: NR and Bobby (I totally stole that one), Squirto and his French gf in game (You do make a cute couple :3) Bill and Cherie (None other than the best of all of them!) and garlind and malice (stahp guise)
  • Most Likely to be a Writer in their life: Black Angel BR (I can see it already)
  • People I'd want to meet in real life (as long as they don't shoot me with their magnum): John Breasly, Lizard, Parax., Bob, Cherie, Law, and Squirt
  • The Best 18th Century Playa': Johnny Goldtimbers
  • Best Twin I've ever had: Sparky Whitewolf (<3)
  • Person with too many opinions: Jim Logan
  • An Awesome Piano Player: William Brawlmartin 
  • Person I could rant and always agree with: Bobby Moon (Lil Moony)
  • Best Swiss King yet: Tyler Crossbones 
  • Person I would've beat in PvP: Squirt
  • Person who most likely will beat you to death: Matthew Faye (Blastshot)
  • People I never expected to even care about me that are EITC: Blake Stewart and Nate Crestbreaker

David McMartin

  • Most likely to die within the next few minutes: <insert name here>
  • Bestest buddy on the Whole Wiki: [REDACTED]
  • Most likely to survive a zombie outbreak: John Breasly, G-man, Jack Pistol, Squirto19, Albert Spark
  • Cutest Couple on the Wiki: Al and Liz (Sorry, Par and Keira. Reapers and cat-people don't mix. And Garland and Mallace, you were my next big choices ;D)
  • Most Stereotypical Pirate on the face of the planet on the Wiki: [REDACTED] again.
  • Best Admins: Le Reaper Overlord Parax., the Bro-tastic Jack Pistol, the Siblings of Authority (Katbluedog and Stpehen), the Sherlock of the Wiki AKA GenLawrence, and lastly, the alleged Goldilocks
  • Most Likely to Take Over the World: G-man
  • Most Likely to Try and Stop That but Probably Fail Horribly: Bill2222
  • Most Abnormal but Awesome Wikian: Keira Kinover-Mar
  • Most Unbelievable Person: SANTA CLAUS :O
  • Most Likely to Get Banned: <insert name here>
  • Perverts Most Responsible Members of the Wiki: FailPwnz, Lord Andrew Mallace (HAIL MARRACE), Blake Stewart
  • Sad Excuse of a Wikian: <insert name here>
  • Most Likely to Join the British Navy or EITC or Whatever: G-man, Squirto19, Marc Cannonshot
  • BEST USER EVER: <insert name here>
  • Person that was Gullible Enough to Believe that their Name was Where the Username Template was: <insert name here>

More to come


  • Best Body - Jackie Pistola
  • Most Calmest on wiki - Blake Stewart
  • Nicest User on wiki - John Breasly
  • Most fat in a pirate- Ricard Goldvane
  • Most sticky on wiki - Gman or Failpwnz ( So Hard to choose xD)
  • More to come..... when I think of them xD
  • Cutest couple - Jeremiah Garland and Mallace, Lizzy and Albert , Parax and Keira (hehe) 
  • User who loves Musicals as much as I do - Gibbsgirl11
  • Best nommer on wiki - Cherie dear ( :P)
  • Most Disturbed - So hard to choose xD
  • Most likely to bash Star Wars the Clone Wars - Jim Logan
  • Future Computer Programer - Lawrence Daggerpaine
  • Future Composer - Richard Goldvane
  • Most Badass on wiki - Hard to choose :P
  • Most likely to end up in Jail! - <insert name here>
  • Most calmest admin on wiki - KatBluedog
  • Future Grammar teacher - John Breasly
  • Most MC Nut - David Mcmartin
  • User who will get a punch in the face if they do :3 to me one more time - Albert Spark

Lord General Jason Shiprat

  • Most epicly more awesomer admin - Parax
  • Greatest story writer - Captaingoldvane2
  • Worlds greatest Jew King - John Breasly
  • Greatest debater on the wiki - Jeremiah Garland
  • Trolls of the year - Pearson Wright, Captain Leon
  • Best Admin siblings - Stpehen, KatBluedog
  • Smartest on the wiki - Me :P
  • Whatever FailPawnz is - FailPawnz
  • Biggest WWE fan - Jim Logan
  • Person with the most perverted name on the wiki - Squirto19
  • The greatest detective on the wiki - Lord Farkwad AKA GenLawerence
  • Everyone else I forgot to mention is a sorry excuse for bacterium, especially - <insert name here>


  • Least likely to be featured at all in these superlatives - Slappy
  • Most likely to be a Hollywood star - Jim Logan (if he doesn't get into drugs)
  • Least likely to be Hollywood star - Leon
  • Person most likely to challenge me in taking over the world - Parax
  • Most likely to doom the wiki - John Breasly
  • Person who shouldn't waste their time on a game for children - Everyone
  • Modt likely pimp - Marrace
  • Most unappreciated person on the wiki - Katbluedog
  • Most likely to fall asleep before finishing their superlatives - Slappy

To be not continued. I have a life to get to.

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