This is a newly written historical record of the events of the Paradoxian War, which lasted from 1740 until 1745, and is considered the most atrocious war ever sparked in this time period.
Fall of the 1st Spanish Empire (1730-1739)
Following an age of massive expansion at the hands of the Spanish Empire, rebellion began to stir within Spanish borders. The disowned son of King Philip V, Ferdinand Clemente, had flared hate for Philip's administration within the country, and had restarted a rebellion along the south-eastern coast of the mainland. This time, Ferdinand had much support from both Great Britain and Russia, and it was clear Spain would require military effort to disperse the opposition.
Battle of Derby (1731)
At the same time the recently-fired Scottish prime minister, Robert Owsley, had returned to England with a vengeance. Using Spanish support, his army marched from the Scottish border, south through York, and straight towards London. Leaving a wake of destruction, Robert had stationed his army in the town of Derby, and established that as his base of operation. For the time being, everything north of Derby was officially under his control.
Unable to repel the slowly approaching armies of Scotland, King George made the decisive move to lead a head-on charge at Derby. Riding from his palace, he summoned loyalist conscripts from across the countryside. His well-trained army was smaller that Owsley but had the upper hand in terms of skill.
A warm summer's eve, the loyalist army's artillery battered the fortifications at Derby, damaging Owsley's forces before they had even awoken. His army, in a state of heightened awareness, fired back within mere minutes. The loyalists flanked the city and entered it by storm. The battle within lasted a staggering three days, which resulted in the discovery of Owsley hiding in an emptied rum barrel. The remainder of his forces were quickly dispatched, and the nobles who supported him were executed. In the following month, Britain retook Scotland, and reclaimed Ireland from a brief occupation by Irish rebels.
Divorce of Philip V and Grace Goldtimbers (1732)
The marriage that gave Spain control of France had gone sour, and the French queen had demanded a divorce. Infuriated, the Spanish threatened the Papacy, who in turn refused to annul the marriage. This created massive fissures in France, dividing the country in half. In the north, controlled by the rightful queen, was the French population that supported Her Majesty. Both the British and the Prussians took Grace's side. In the south was the remainder of the Spanish occupation, which still held Paris. Austria and the Italian city-states gave much support to the Spanish garrison there.
End of the Spanish Occupation of France (1734)
After minor skirmishes occuring for the months following the divorce, Britain had just about had enough. King George II ordered his newly-instated field marshal, Lord Samuel Harrington, to assist Ferdinand Clemente in a march on Madrid. Meanwhile, he and the French-turned-Prussian general Jacques Antoinette, amassed a force that would take Paris by storm.
Fearing loss of his entire empire, his forces withdrew from Paris, and Harrington's force left with Ferdinand aboard. They rendezvoused in France, and destroyed the remainder of Spain's immediate empire. With weakened control in Sweden and Austria, they still stood as a formidable threat to European states.
Jacques Antoinette was installed as head of state for France, following an illness suffered by Queen Goldtimbers. Within weeks of his appointment, France had invaded Switzerland and Milan.
Seceding and Division of Austria-Hungary (1735)
Using the right of passage granted by the Prussian government, a large force from the British army marched into Austria and threatened to take Vienna. Despite efforts from Hessian general Francis Bluehawk, the British advance could not be stopped. Faced with obliteration, Duchess Hannah Clemente, Philip V's own daughter, requested to secede from the empire. Philip V, begging for the life of his own daughter, woefully approved. Spain had now lost a major territory in it's empire. But the suffering in the east would not end there. Jeremiah Stormwash, a noble who lived near Budapest, revolted and took the majority of Hungary from Austria, weakening Spain's allies even further.
Swedish Hostility and Conquering (1736)
Implanted with the idea to destroy Philip V's empire, the British ordered Lord Caddius Archibald Bane to take Sweden from the hands of John Macbatten, another of Philip V's illegitimate children. With much pressure, he declared hostilities with Spain. Happy, the British fleet prepared to return to the homeland, when tragedy struck. Cannon fire destroyed a British frigate from behind. Outraged, Lord Bane ordered the immediate destruction of whoever fired. As it had turned out, Macbatten had fired on his own allies! Swiftly and ruthlessly, Lord Bane blew the Swedish fleet to smithereens. His conquest did not stop there, however. He continued to take the rest of Scandinavia. Using his own riches, he took Stockholm for himself and established the Kalmar Union. The now Chancellor Bane resigned from his roles in Great Britain, but promised ample support to the Brits. This promise was never broken, as the Kalmar Union remains strong allies of Britain today.
Battle of Copenhagen (1736)
The only remaining territory in control of Macbatten was Denmark. Britain's newest admiral, Matthew Faye II, was ordered to take Copenhagen by force. Entering the city under the shroud of peace, the British sprung from their hiding places and took the city in a mere day. All Danish opposition was crushed, and Denmark was established as a British viceroyalty.
Now shattered and broken, a burning Spain attempted to rebuild their forces. After four hard years of toil, the greatest land force ever amassed had taken hold in Europe, and was ready for retribution.
The Initial Offensive (1740)
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